Day 4: Intentions

As teachers, we’re constantly teaching and reading that “How we are on the mat is how we are in life.” Well, its looking like “how we are on the plate is how we are in life,” too. I just read Asia’s post and it could have been me writing it.

For the last forty five days, I have come to the mat each morning and set an intention. Whether it was to just get through the salutations, or to do a full vinyasa practice, or to focus on my breath, or to understand shoulder stand a little better, or to really, really greet the sun - there was an intention for what I was doing. It was mindful, deliberate, and focused. David Swenson says “There is a difference between doing yoga and simply making an asana of ourselves.” Well, I’m thinking there is a difference between eating and really nourishing ourselves.

Food and I have had a troubled relationship for as long as I can remember. For much of my life, eating made me feel sick. Not knowing why, and with doctors unable (unwilling?) to diagnose what was wrong, it was just easier to not eat than to endure the pain that almost inevitably followed. Later on, meal times became the battleground for family wars of all shapes, sizes and varieties. So it became easier to sleep through them or conveniently sneak off to the gym instead. Then a few years ago, as I worked my way into the bodybuilding community, food became fuel. Something you eat because you have to.

Truth be told, I’m not quite sure what foods I actually enjoy and what ones I don’t anymore. So much of my meal choices over the last few years have been dictated by what I can eat and what has the best macronutrient breakdown, that I’ve forgotten to factor enjoyment into it all. I’ve been practicing mindless eating, complete with the flailing around of forks and knives.

I know it could be done at any time if I set my mind to it, but I am so grateful to have the support of some awesome peers to stick with this challenge. My intention for this challenge is to change my relationship with food. To sit down at every meal and really enjoy what I’m eating. To set an intention of sorts when it comes to ingredients, meals, and eating. To stop mindless snacking, eating because I’m bored, and eating things that I don’t really like.