Why?

So I'm sitting here at my desk with nearly every conceivable joint aching, begging the question so many ask me on a regular basis - "why?"

Why do you lift?
How is it worth all the aching?
Why do you watch your diet?
Why do you push those numbers?
Why 'waste' an hour every day, five or six days a week only to end up sore?

The reason: It makes me feel damn good.

My aching hip flexors, mid back, and abs are from my killer yoga class (taught by this super-awesome yogi) yesterday. My sore shoulders and traps are from some remedial work I did last night to fix my scapular tracking and work out the popping in my shoulder joints. My aching quads, glutes, and hamstrings are from both the yoga and the cardio I did right after.

Is this a bit excessive? Perhaps. Not all days are like this. Some days I roll out of bed with not an ache in sight. Others, I wake up and hitting the snooze button is a monumental task of bribing seized muscles into rolling over and reaching out far enough to stop the beeping.

I lift, run, cycle, and contort my body into unnatural poses because it keeps me sane. It is an epic battle of me against myself. I am my own competition and motivator. I love the rush of hitting new numbers on a squat or deadlift. I love the exhausted, sweaty, shaking feeling I get after a good run and a session of tabata sprints on the bike (more on those some other time). I look forward to that long, bendy feeling I walk away with after rolling up my yoga mat.

Do these loves outweigh the train-wreck feeling I wake up to some mornings? Absolutely. In fact, its those achy days that probably keep me going back. As cliche as it sounds, in some ways, it reminds me that I'm alive, of how lucky I am that my legs move when I tell them to, that I am strong and healthy enough to push new weights, distances, and stretches. It reminds me that when I eat, I am fueling recovery and growth. It forces me to realize this is my body and mine alone, the same way it is my life and mine alone. Any demons or chattering monkeys get dropped at the door. Negative and self depreciating thoughts get replaced with a sole purpose of bending deeper, breathing stronger, running further or lifting more.

Will I do this forever? Maybe, its hard to say. Currently I am looking to turn this into a career, at least for a while. I am on my way to starting a private studio for personal training, and would love to expand my education and experience into coaching, teaching yoga, maybe even massage. All in due time. I am still mastering this lifestyle myself, and feel it is something that is always evolving, changing and adapting based on external and internal influences. Right now my focus is on making this business work, and seeing how far we can take it.