Day 12

After having just complained about not doing enough yoga, I took the Boy to a yoga, wine and chocolate night across town. We took the bus there, and since I had forgotten to re-check my directions, we based our direction on some else's rough ideas. Not finding it, I went for directions and we set off to the studio. My general lack of direction was pointed out, and I realized I had three choices in accepting the comment. 1: get angry (not really necessary), 2: agree ("after all I am incompetent, I should know better"), or 3: shrug it off ("yeah, I goofed today - we'll still make it, who cares"). The options were not what surprised me, but actually thinking about having a choice - being able to make the decision of how I want to react - was so novel. It felt good. Like I am regaining control over my actions. All this before I even did the yoga or drank the wine.

It was such a beautiful experiece, to watch people from all walks of life come together to try something that is foreign to so many. The yoga was great, not as intense as the regular classes, but that was to be expected - we weren't there to sweat, it was the promise of chocolate. As for the pairings, wow! We tried 7 wines, only two of which weren't my favorite. This was my first wine tasting, I have usually been of the mind that I don't like wine (wrong - I just don't like some wines), and it was so unusal to try it with chocolate instead of a more traditional cheese or savory food. I think it may give me a different perspective on some wines and their tastes which is kind of neat.

Following the Vine & Vinyassa, we went out for dinner. It was here that I realized I do this yoga for me. I don't care if my friends are going, enjoy it, or approve. I don't need to convince anyone else to go with me so I don't feel dumb or alone. I started it out of curiosity, and have stuck with it because it is MY time on the mat. Its become a sanctuary of sorts, a way to disconnect with everything and yet be so present, with someone cuing my every movement and breath. It is a strange release of control, taking the micromanagement from the brain out of the equation and relinquishing control to the body by trusting it.

I have been taking this practice under the bar as well by focusing on breathing, processing the visual cues (split the floor, push the floor away, etc), and activating every necessary muscle. Using these often overlooked techniques takes the thought away from the weight on your back (it simply becomes 'heavy') and the mental roadblocks created by time, repetitions, or predicted failure. It forces you into what is happening right NOW, nothing else. Not the next set, your last rep, or what is going into your shake after this is done. All that matters is inhaling, pressing through your heels, and squeezing your glutes as you sit back into that squat. Once you're at the bottom, all that matters is getting up - exhaling, splitting the floor and wrapping that bar around your neck. Repeat. It is by doing this that I reached 135lbs on my squat! I did 8 reps on a box-squat. GOAL (get my squat up to a plate (135lbs)): done!!

Day 12 Yoga Challenge:

Today's activity is a 14 minute yoga/meditation focused on the third chakra, tuning into your power and self-worth.

The meditation is linked on the original site, but I have not listened to it yet. I have, however, been focusing on these things on my own as of late. Taking notice of how I actually feel, and realizing that maybe my opinions are worth expressing from time to time. The only way someone can disrespect me is if I let them. My happiness or lack there of is mostly under my own control. Save extenuating circumstances, I believe that I am the one choosing to be unhappy by allowing my environment and circumstance dicatete my life instead of taking control of it myself. This is a big thought, yet it is somewhat relieving at the same time.

Day 12 Training Mission:
Same as yesterday - did my yoga today and also got in quite a bit of walking. Metabolic workout last night plus some box squats (see above) - and whew! was that ever a calorie burning good time. I'm down about 5lbs without much effort - especially not in the kitchen as of late - so I'm getting there slowly but surely. If this training doesn't put a dent in it, I don't know what will.